During my 16 week ultrasound, I began to wonder what was actually happening. My ultrasound (which usually takes 2 hours, that’s right folks – one hour per baby) ran very long. The sonographer chat stopped. She left the room and came back several times, once bringing another sonographer with her to get an image she was having trouble getting. I hoped for the best but was on alert.

When I sat down with my perinatologist after my ultrasound and the conversation about my vitals, bloodwork, and pregnancy symptoms. It seemed like perhaps my suspicions were for nothing. Then she said, “ok, I need to talk for a few minutes.” She went on to tell me there were issues with the size difference or discordance of my babies. One was significantly larger, one significantly smaller and when the discordance is greater than 20, it’s abnormal. Mine were 25% discordant. Other concerns are umbilical connections and vessels in cords, the shape of the placenta, and maximum visual fluid pockets (MVP) Baby A 3.7 and Baby B 6.9 – all indicate early diagnosis of the dreaded Twin-to-twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS).

She said she needed to refer me to the nearest specialist and fetal surgeon for TTTS and related complications but they were already closed for the day. She’d call personally on Monday to ensure I got an appointment next week. He eyes were concerned, haunted. It was clear this is serious. I’m certain my heart stopped. Everything I had researched, everything that I had hoped would pass us by. We were headed to be in that 20% of mono/di pregnancies with complications. I couldn’t breathe. I made my way, in a kind of numb shock to the parking garage, swiped my card to pay for my parking, and found my way to the freeway.

As I pulled onto I-5 South for my 2 hour commute home alone at nearly 5pm (2 hours later than expected), I did what any self-respecting woman would do: I cried in my car. I sobbed like my heart had been broken in two.

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